When Boundaries Are Challenged: A Subtle Dating Lesson Many Women Miss

I want to share a small dating scenario that many women will recognize and relate to. I’ve seen this come up not only in my own life, but also in conversations and groups I’ve been part of.

What I want to clarify here is not about blaming the other person, but about understanding the process of setting clear boundaries and, just as importantly, noticing how others respond to them — and how we respond to ourselves in those moments.

In this particular situation, I matched with someone on a dating app. We exchanged a few messages, and he suggested moving off the app. He shared his number.

In response, I shared my Google number. I use it intentionally and for safety, and I usually don’t give out my personal number until I meet someone in person.

He texted me and asked why I was using that number. I explained my reasoning clearly and calmly.

Instead of accepting that boundary, he continued to challenge it. He told me he was an honest man and that honesty was important for building trust. I acknowledged what he said and shared that I was looking forward to getting to know him.

Soon after, he told me he was a romantic guy and wanted to ask me out on a date. His text said: “I would like to plan a dinner date.”

As soon as I read that message, I felt pressure in my body. Meeting someone I hadn’t even seen in person yet and going straight into a romantic dinner felt like too much for me.

Instead of honoring what I felt, I started negotiating with myself.
I thought, Maybe that’s okay. He’s just being nice.

So I texted back and agreed to dinner.

Shortly after, he again asked me to text him from my “real” number. At that point, I could see the pattern more clearly. Even though I had already explained my boundary, it continued to be pushed.

Rather than canceling altogether, I expressed what I had actually wanted from the beginning, something simpler. I suggested meeting for coffee and having a conversation.

His response was just one word: “Wow.”

That moment was very informative for me. It showed me that he wasn’t able, at least at that point, to meet me where I was.

A week later, he reached out again, asking why I was ignoring him. I could feel drama beginning to form, and I knew I wasn’t willing to lose my peace of mind or override my boundaries any further.

I let him know that I didn’t want to continue the conversation and that I didn’t want to receive any more texts.

He continued messaging, and eventually I blocked him.

When I did, I felt something very clear: my power came back to me. As well as my self-trust.

And this is the deeper lesson I want to share.

When we consistently override our own boundaries and allow others to override them as well, we abandon ourselves in the process. We lose the ground we’re standing on. We lose self-trust, self-respect, and our sense of inner power.

This isn’t an invitation to blame the other person.
It’s an invitation to come back to your inner reality.

To come back to your body.

Notice what pressure feels like in your body.
Notice what happens inside you when a boundary is challenged.

For me, pressure feels very different from healthy excitement. Healthy excitement comes with curiosity, openness, and a sense of aliveness. Pressure feels heavy. My body tenses. Fear or confusion can arise. I lose the sense of peacefulness I usually feel inside.

Those are my signals and I’ve learned to listen to them.

If this resonates, I invite you to reflect on what your signals are. Your body is constantly communicating with you. The more you listen, the less you need to learn through drama.

This orientation — coming back to yourself, restoring self-trust, and learning to relate from a grounded place — is at the heart of the work I’ll be offering in an upcoming pilot program called “Coming Home”.

It’s not about fixing yourself or pushing for breakthroughs. It’s about gently unwinding the patterns that pull you away from yourself and learning how to live, relate, and choose from a place of inner alignment.

If that speaks to you, I invite you to join the waitlist. I’ll be sharing more soon.

I’d love to hear how this is landing for you.